#18 Be as organized as possible

It is my experience as a parent, being a good example is not enough to teach someone else to be organized, you must instruct.  The author here gives a few examples but we all know the drill.  If you are able to put your hands on what you need, when you need it, every thing else just falls into place.  On the other hand, you must teach organizational skills.  Children and even adults really don't learn this by example as easily as being give specific instructions and materials to reach that goal.  If you want your child to put his dirty clothes in a hamper, get him a hamper.  If you want your child to put his dinner dish in the kitchen after he eats, tell him/her exactly what is expected.  If you want me to do something in an organized fashion, tell me exactly what it is you expect.  That's how it works. 

#17 Transition from one subject to another - quiet and efficient

The author again is dealing with a classroom filled with students and tells them they must consistently be able to turn from one book to another, complete with all homework and necessary materials as quickly as possible.  He gives them ten seconds with a goal of seven seconds in mind.  This keeps his kids moving from one subject to the next without all the chatter and moving about.  He gives an example of being interrupted in our daily routines by things like the telephone, television, talking to co-workers or comfortable chairs.  Then says if we could stay on task, take care of business first, then use the remaining time for leisure. In the long run, it will give all of us more time for that comfortable chair... Get the job done first. 

At the same time, for the book stuck in the cubby, or the homework somewhere in the backpack, the ten second rule might be a little extreme, although the idea is a good one.   Let's hope that punishment for timeliness in the seconds is minimal.  A raised eyebrow, or do you need some help with something, I'm sure would suffice.  

#16 Turn your work in on time everytime

This is certainly worth the read.   Of course, Ron Clark is speaking to his classroom as he tries to prepare them for life.  But really, all of us as adults have to do this with our work, our bills and responsibilities.  I commend Mr. Clark for addressing his classroom this way.  His students learn early to be responsible, timely and efficient.  He uses three steps: 1) Detention; 2) a homework tally banner; and 3) peer pressure.  His strategies are simple but very well thought out and workable.  Of course, if you read the book you'll find a lot more in the way of examples, but I wish I had started out with this knowledge as a parent ten years ago.  WOW!  He had homework assignments from his class at 100% for 62 days straight.  TEACH RESPONSIBILITY! 

#15 Never ask to be rewarded

You should do everything with a sense of pride in yourself, to better yourself, not because you are anticipating a reward.  This doesn't mean you cannot set goals for yourself, it simple means you should always do your best.  When it is appreciated truly, you will be rewarded in many ways.  Ron Clark tells his class, "At work in the real world, rewards really aren't given to people who do a good job.  People do a good job because they take pride in their work".  I believe this.  Love what you do.  We need to try to remember the reward is a job well done. 

At the same time, if you're never rewarded, even with something as simple as "job well done", doubts can become harmful.  If you have a teacher, or boss, who never says anything about your work, it's okay to ask:  So, am I preforming satisfactorily?  This might give you what you need and the teacher/boss an opportunity to address your specific accomplishments.  Of course, they may also bring up any short-comings they may see... so beware.  

#14 Answer all questions in complete sentences ... written especially

We have become lazy in our exchanges of words, which is a shame really.  How difficult is it to give a structured sentence in response?  If someone asked you "What is the capital of Russia?"  you should respond by writing "The capital of Russia is Moscow."  I think it works well when speaking too.  Instead of the often spoken "Fine." The next time some asks "How are you?" respond with "I'm doing fine, thank you."  This allows each of us to formulate well thought out answers.  It also gives us opportunities to be creative.  I like that. 

#13 - When reading as a group - you must read along...

The author of course is a teacher, but we all have little ones in our lives and occasionally find an opportunity to read to them.  I sometimes read to my mother.  So, if possible, do have them read along.  We all see the world through the lens of our experiences, and they often differ.  So, read together and share your worlds.  :)

#12 When accessing others ...

There is a right way and a wrong way to do just about anything, but according to the author, if you access (measure up) others in a good way, everyone improves.  There's no reason to be critically negative when assessing things like what someone wears, or whether or not they put on sock sock shoe shoe or sock shoe sock shoe... what really matters is that at the end of the day, you feel good about yourself.  Failure is a terrible word used to often to describe the lack of success, but it is failure that teaches us the meaning of success in the first place.  Let's be kind to one another.  Making someone else feel poorly about their performance or behavior or lack of knowledge can be harmful if given in the wrong dose.  Just like medicine.... let's be good medicine for each other.

#11 - Surprise others by performing random acts of kindness! DO IT

We all should actually go out of our way to do something wonderful for someone at least once a month.  I know I get so busy with work, and home and life that I often forget to "go out of my way" for others.  It's not that I don't want to, I enjoy being generous and helpful, but I am human and sometimes lazy.  I would like to think my kids would do random acts of house work as a kindness toward me, but alas I'm not there yet....  BE KIND!

#10 When given something never be negative.

It's just plain insulting, but I know I hear this more than you can imagine.  As an example, Ron Clark took his best readers class to a pro basketball game.  They got to meet the players and spend the night in a hotel.  Later, he scheduled a bowling trip, but because it didn't measure up there were negative comments, so he cancelled the trip altogether.  It was a great lesson.  I'm sure we all have experienced similar moments.  It's a good reminder to be appreciative of all things... THANK YOU!

However, I'm sure there were those looking forward to the bowling trip that were penalized due to others being disrespectful, and I don't think that is fair either.... 

#9 Always say THANK YOU when something is given to you.

And I don't mean presents, although that counts, too!  I mean, when someone holds a door for you, or tells you the time, or hands you your coat, or places a meal in front of you.  There is no excuse for not showing appreciation to anyone, even to chidren.  Remember to thank everyone, the checkout clerk, the friend that does a favor, the boss that lets you leave early, the mailman who delivers your bills.  You'd be surprised how this little item could lift the person you're responding to.  And isn't that why we're here in the first place?  To lift each other up.  See ya in the clouds!

#8 Never smack your lips, tsk, roll your eyes or show disrespect with jestures.

Doing these things will ensure you get disrespect in return.  These are nothing less than cursing with body language.  I'm sure you're experienced being on the receiving end of some of these gestures at one time or another.  How did this make you feel?  Surely, you wouldn't want to make anyone else feel that way.  Let's make it a habit to watch our own body language better.  I'm guilty of the rolling eye gesture, usually with people I love.  Mostly I do this in my silly attempt to be funny, but really, it's not that  funny in the first place.  I'm going to try hard to nip this one in the bud.  Starting with me...  Good Luck!

#7 When you cough, sneeze or burp

It is important to turn your head away from others and cover your mouth with the full part of your hand.  Afterward you should say, "Excuse me."  

It amazes me how many adults don't do this, not to mention children.  It's important to minimize the spreading of germs and this is one of the oldest, wisest and best ways to begin.  Of course, afterwards, you should always wash your hands.  :)

It is of interest to know, the "Bless You" from others after a sneeze started as a myth about evil spirits jumping into your body during the sneeze process.  The blessing is to ward off evil spirits.  Of course, if you are the recipient of an uncovered sneeze, that evil spirit is more likely to find you. 

#6 If asked a question in conversation, you should

ask a question in return.  If someone asks, "Did you have a nice day?" you should answer the question and then ask a question in return.  For example:  "Yes, it was a wonderful day. I went shopping with my mother.  How was your day?"

Conversation is an exchange of words and ideas, share.  Others will see you as friendly and outgoing, someone who cares and shares, and again it shows respect.  It's important to show others you are interested in them.  It's also important not to monopolize the conversation.  Take pauses to allow others to express their ideas and thoughts.  EXCHANGE WORDS!  This rule is really about letting others know you are interested in them.   

#5 Do Not Brag

If you do well, do not brag.  If you lose, do not show anger.  Instead say something like. "That was fun!" or "Great game." or say nothing at all.  Bragging about yourself can put you in a negative light.  There is no need to put your accomplishments or abilities on display.  Have you every liked a professional player because you've watched him improve?  Suddenly, he begins to brag about his accomplishments and then just as suddenly, you no longer have the enthusiasm about him you did when he was just a regular guy doing well.  Don't let this happen to you.  We are all good at something and do poorly at other things.  And i also believe if you can learn something, so can someone else.  No one stays on top for ever.  There should be plenty of room to share the lime light.  Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.  

#4 Respect other's opinions.

This sets the scene that promotes conversation and real communication and creates an environment that is supportive and non threatening.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to never be put on the defensive for your thoughts and ideas?  Where those thoughts and ideas develop into discussion is the objective.  Everyone has something to contribute.  It's okay to disagree, but there is a way to do so gently without hurting feelings or making someone feel doubtful about themselves.  Appreciate without being condescending.  Disagree without being condescending.  Be open to discussion and you will be surprised how others jump into the conversation comfort zone.

#3 If someone does something well congratulate them

To see a fellow student appreciated for a job well done can be an excellent motivator. 

It's funny how easy it is to cheer for your favorite athlete but hold back when a friend does something well, or differently, or just plain amazing,  We don't feel the need to praise them.  

GO FRIENDS!  We all need a pat on the back once in a while.  We all need to feel appreciated.  

I would also say that encouragement is just a needed for the students who are trying and not quite making the congratulations cut.  

#2 Make Eye Contact

Making eye contact with whom you are speaking certainly gives more emphasis and emotion to what you're saying.  If someone speaks to you, turn and make eye contact with that person, it also shows respectfulness and gives the impression you are serious about the conversation. 

Being from a household where hearing is difficult to begin with, making eye contact is a necessity.   We connect to each other through our eyes much more powerfully.  Usually the rewards are instant.  This will be the family lesson tonight at the dinner table. 

Tonight, chicken masala, rice and roti.  I might even stir up some iced tea.

#1 When responding to any adult, you must answer with "Yes ma'am" or "No Sir."

This is something I try to do all the time, even when I speak to my children. When I get a call from my child I answer "Yes sir." I want to be an example.

I do have an obstacle. Some family members consider this particular verbiage unnecessary. He/she actually thinks to call someone SIR or MA'AM is considering the person you're speaking to as more important than yourself.

To me this is simply showing respect for others, and doesn't diminish self at all. Everyone should be shown respect, and the act of being respectful gains respect from others.

The Essential 55 - by Ron Clark Dhaliwal Family

Hello: I wanted to experience with my family this book devoted to setting an example of appreciation, service and manners. Follow along and comment if you will, as I am open to opinions and often require a bit of guidance myself. Times have changed but a difference can be made by the way you think of yourself, perform and hold respect for everyone. Enjoy